Ah yes, long distance relationships. Don’t we all love them? After a year of living with my husband it’s back to the depressing feeling of cuddling with a cold pillow at night along with the familiar “ERRRR” that comes when he isn’t picking up my skype call.
If you’re reading this, you probably know all about the LDR suckage. Even though there’s plenty to complain about, complaining won’t make time crawl faster and it definitely won’t bring your loved one back into your arms any quicker (even if it does feel good to let it out for a few minutes). I know it feels like the time until you see your S/O again is soooo far away, but take heart! I’m here to help you survive this LDR and even THRIVE in it. Let’s begin.
1. Stay positive
Like I said, complaining won’t make time go faster! If you’re feeling stuck in an unmotivated funk the only way to get through it is to keep going and stay positive. Focus on the good things (like how lucky you are to have someone to miss) and don’t let yourself become a victim. When you look back on this time you’ll see that it actually seemed to fly by (even though it feels like it’s dragging right now) and you’ll see how much you grew in your time apart. I promise you can find good in every situation if you try hard enough. In the wise words of Hamlet, “Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Keep your pretty head up!
2. Stay busy!
The more you can distract your mind the better. If your job or school doesn’t keep you busy enough, try getting involved with new or existing hobbies. When my husband (then boyfriend) was in boot camp 2 years ago I REALLY needed to distract my mind. That’s when I started blogging (I had a small personal blog at the time that shall remain unnamed.. LOL) and I also started running and drawing more. What hobbies have you been putting off or wanting to try? Another way to stay busy is to get social. Don’t have many friends where you are? Checkout my post on 15 ways to make new friends!
3. Video chat as often as you can
Face-to-face conversations are so much more intimate than texting or talking on the phone, so make good use of the technology we have today! Video chatting is the next best thing to being there in person.
4. LDR Dates
Who says you can’t still date your S/O when you’re long distance? Aside from chatting over FaceTime or Skype, there are plenty of ways you can still date your mate despite the distance. You could play an online game together, stream a movie and watch it together over Skype, or even do some online shopping together with screen-sharing. My husband and I used to have “sushi dates” where we’d pick up our favorite sushi and eat it together over Skype. This is your chance to get creative!
5. Learn their love language & learn to “speak” it
Y’all, this is SO important. If you haven’t read The 5 Love Languages (affiliate link) you need to! This book was an absolute game changer for my husband and I. It helps you learn how you and your partner give & receive love. When you’re long distance, it’s important to figure out ways to still speak your partner’s language if you want your relationship to thrive. My primary love language is gifts while my husband’s is physical touch. Gifts are easy (the hubs makes it a point to send me little trinkets every now & then) but physical touch is a little bit harder with the distance… I try my best to visit my husband as often as I can, but I try to show him love in the way of his 2nd highest love language, words of affirmation, when I can’t be there to wrap my arms around his body. Learn to speak your partner’s love language while you’re long distance and you’re sure to thrive!
6. Communicate about your feelings
Even though it seems like communication would be easier when you’re long distance, I’ve found that sometimes it gets harder. Sometimes you run out of things to talk about or the conversations start to seem mundane and pointless (how was your day, what’s the weather like there, etc.). Make it a point to discuss your feelings with your S/O, even if it doesn’t feel comfortable at first. It’s hard for your partner to know what you’re feeling through texts and phone conversations, so you have to be upfront and real about your emotions.
7. Plan exciting things for when you see each other next
I know you’re already looking forward to your next visit, but planning something exciting will not only make you even more excited (and hopefully focused on positive thoughts), but it’ll also keep you busy for at least a short time. It doesn’t have to be expensive, either—maybe try a visit to a museum you’ve always wanted to go to or find a free concert in that area.
8. Devotionals & prayer
This one is super important to me. I think being spiritually connected is even more important than being physically together. Whatever you or your partners’ religion, find ways to practice it together on a daily basis. This small act has made the biggest impact in our relationship, especially when we’re miles away from each other.
What do you think? I’d love to hear YOUR advice!