“How old are you guys?”
This is a question my husband and I are frequently asked when others learn that we’re married. Although we look more like 15, I assure you, we’re both actually 19 years old. Yes, we’re still teenagers (okay, so I’m turing 20 tomorrow), and yes, I’m pretty sure we’ve heard all of the doubts, negativity, and dumb questions that exist.
“Do you realize how high the divorce rate is for couples who marry young?”
“Are you sure you’re ready to settle down?”
“You’re too young to get married!”
The list could go on and on. While I understand other’s concerns (especially in the throw-away culture we live in that holds such a ridicously high divorce rate), I can’t help but to feel a little sorry for anyone who has tried to talk us out of getting married so young, or for anyone who’s thought we’re crazy for our decision.
I feel sorry for these people because either they don’t quite understand marriage, or they’re unhappy with their own marriages, past or present.
You see, my husband and I didn’t get married to “settle down.” We didn’t do it for the military benefits, and we didn’t do it because it “felt right” (although it did and still does feel right for both of us). We chose to say our vows because we love each other and we wanted to commit our lives to one another and only one another.
Love isn’t a feeling—it’s a commitment. [tweet this!]
The people who are concerned about our marriage failing don’t seem to grasp the concept of love being a commitment. These are the people who have gotten sucked into society’s beliefs that if you don’t feel love toward your spouse anymore, it’s okay to sign those divorce papers and move on to someone else. These are the people who see our marriage going downhill like their own marriage did. These are the people who think most of the fun in life ends at “I do.” These are the people who think age has anything at all to with maturity (news flash—it really doesn’t. I know thirteen-year-olds with far more maturity than some thirty-year-olds!).
If we can get a decent-paying job, choose our life-long career paths, rent or buy a home, own credit cards, vote, or even sign up to take a bullet for this nation, why can’t it be acceptable for nineteen-year-olds to choose who they want to spend the rest of their life with? About 50 years ago, it was completely normal for people to get married at this age (and many of them are still married).
Despite young marriages being almost taboo in today’s culture, I see nothing wrong with couples tying the knot at a young age—as long as they’re doing it for the right reasons and they realize the commitment they’re making.
What are your thoughts on young marriage? I’d love to hear your own opinions!
PS: Check out this post on 7 Things You Need to Realize to Make Your Marriage Last.